she pulls out her hair

But when she twists her hair and pulls it out, it hurts me. At first, I thought it was because it annoyed me. Then I thought it was because I was totally powerless over the behavior. Then I thought it was because I felt I was a failure as a mother -- how could a child with such a loving, consistent, healthy, and attentive family be so anxious that she'd give herself bald spots?

I had to trim one side to even it out after she'd pulled out so much she looked lopsided.

Now I realize it's not that I'm a failure, or Josh, or that we're not meeting her needs somehow. What hurts me about her habit is that it's so public. People can *see* her anxiety. It took me a solid 15 years to be almost okay with sharing my own fears. And here is this beautiful, happy child walking around with a flashing billboard that says, "I'm actually really, really worried."

I wish I could wash away every worry.

The pulling started just a few days after we told her she was going to have a new baby brother or sister. It's completely understandable.

I've Googled it, and the OCD-related habit also happens to run in our family. So, I'm almost able to understand she just can't help it. I talk to the other twister/puller I know and have learned more. I try to let it go, have faith that she will find other ways to help herself with her anxiety. But when I see her worries in those bare patches it's all I can do to not sweep her up into my arms, maybe put her in a sling, and keep her close to me forever.