Our six year old daughter began school in September. Until that time almost all of her play had been with girls or with very small groups of boys and girls in very gentle settings. It seems she is by "nature" (as much as a role that plays) a quiet, careful, and sensitive child. She always has been, from the time she burst into tears at my shocked squawk when she bit my nipple. (Her sister, on the other hand, has several times heard the same squawk and just looked at me and laughed!) Now that Maya's in school, she has been experiencing a lot more rough-and-tumble play thanks in great part to two boys.
Today I found myself more grateful than ever for my husband. Why? Because he seems to have a clue what to do when she says, "Let's wrestle!" I haven't confirmed, but I suspect he'd prefer sitting on the couch reading with her just as I would. But once I get past a playful tickle tustle, I'm flat worn out of the "wrestling" stuff. He really seemed to get it in a way I just couldn't. The two of them played for several minutes at a time throughout the day, "wrestling." She's clearly processing the whole new world of body slams, running smashes, and karate kicks. It makes sense she'd want to get some new skills, new (self-defense!) moves even.
I'm delighted she's exploring all of it. I'm just more sure than ever I'm not the one she should go to when she wants to learn more about all that "boy stuff." It's a language I don't understand. Thank all things Josh is here to share with her whatever it is that's so fun and interesting about bashing into each other.
Boy, oh boy, I'm not a boy.
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2 comments:
We're complex hence malleable creatures and body slams are just as fun to a girl raised on them as to any boy, just as playing house is just as fun to a boy raised on it as to any girl. But the construction of that sentence reveals what I think is inherent and what is a social construct. My opinion, young girls need to wrestle with their dads as much as young boys do. It's an important part of becoming who they are. Little boys should do stuff with their moms like little girls do too. At a later age they will differentiate whether anyone outside themselves think they should or not.
Dave does nightly wrestling with all the kids. Somehow they seem to really need it. I certainly never had it as a kid -- what did I miss, I wonder? At any rate, when he's out of town, they do start to go slightly stir crazy and definitely POUNCE on him the minute he walks in the door. I am a poor, poor substitute as a wrestler.
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