Turning

This baby's head is up. It's about time she should be head down. This is the week or two window where she needs to move. She can move later, but, it's a lot less likely. Maya was a "footling breech" -- she just stayed with her little feet tucked totally uncomfortably by my bladder, head by my ribs. Yow.

I've been struggling with the notion that I can "think" Althea into position. I worked a lot with meditation with Maya to encourage her to move. Some say breech babies may be in that position due to the mother's fears (tightening up or something...?). I haven't felt particularly fearful. Though I've never given birth vaginally, so, I suppose on some level I think it's insane that something so large could fit through what is typically not that large a space. But I also think it's insane that a living being could be growing inside me, and I don't doubt it's the case.

But, really, I feel at peace with all of this. Both the birthing experience and the fact that she might not turn. I can envision both scenarios very clearly and neither one is distressing.

The only distressing part is that if she does stay as a footling (which would require major surgery for her birth) I do worry that my feeling at peace with that would be the reason she stayed put. That is, if I were vigilant about trying to get her to move (lots more pelvic tilts, swimming, meditation, drinking even more water, acupuncture, external (and internal) "version," all the things we did with Maya), if it were freaking me out that she hasn't yet, then maybe that would mean I care enough and she'd actually move.

Could my acceptance be complacency?

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